***Disclaimer: Please be prepared for some swearing!***

Online dating… one of the most unnecessary, yet necessary banes of my life! And probably of many other people’s lives, too!

I’ve been single for 2 years now. Online dating is something I’ve been doing, on and off for the last 8 years (don’t fret… I wasn’t cheating; my last relationship was only 6 months long!). I’ve been on some amazing dates, some not-so-great dates, and some downright (and outrageously) bollocks dates! My goodness… do I have some stories to tell!

However, this post is something I’ve been thinking about doing for a while now. Maybe, even make a bit of a series out of it, depending on how well this one goes. I wanted to talk to you about the struggles I’ve encountered with online dating and why I, quite frankly, find it absolutely shit!

I have been a member of OK CUPID and BUMBLE, and still am a member of PLENTY OF FISH, MATCH.COM, and TINDER (for my sins!). I’ve been on dates through all of these dating sites, but I don’t think that any one of them is better than another, to be honest!

I definitely have the worst luck with online dating! A lot of guys are not honest about what they’re looking for and end up wasting a lot of your time, as well as their own time! I’ve had – stalkers, sex pests, a violent drunk, and even a guy that sleeps on a mattress on the floor in his brother’s room (that is genuinely not a joke!).

The only reason why I haven’t thrown in the towel (re: online dating) is – I feel that if I’m not doing it, literally nothing would advance within my dating life. Not that anything is advancing now, but at least, I feel like I’m trying! It’s so difficult to meet new people, these days; plus – people are less trusting, and if a guy wants to buy you a drink at a bar, you’re panicking about what he’s put in it! It’s sad, but unfortunately, it’s real. So, therefore, I am still carrying on with the shit-show that is my online dating life!

I have so many things I wish to say to guys and girls about the online dating scene… almost like “advice”! And so, I thought – what better way to do it than in a blog post about online dating?!

So here it goes…

Tips for girls

  • Don’t have Snapchat filters on all of your pictures! Yes, you look cute as hell with those dog ears, and yes, I am also guilty of loving the stars-above-your-head filter. But the lads hate them (I’ve seen this expressed in several of their profiles; I’ve done my research!)! Be true to yourself… you’re beautiful, gal!
  • Don’t be afraid to tell a guy that “just fun” is or isn’t what you’re looking for. You know what you want, so stick to your guns!
  • Following that, don’t be afraid to block someone if they’re being a creep! Do not take any shit!
  • DO NOT EVER go to a guy’s place or invite him to yours, on a first date! It’s outrageous that I even need to say this, but I have had several friends do this and not tell anyone where they were going… stupidity at its finest! Meet your new guy somewhere public; tell friends and/or family where you’re going and show them who you’re going with! Catfishing is a real-life thing and it happens, all the time… you need to be careful!

Tips for guys

  • Put a bit more information in your bio! Where are you from? What do you do (re: job)? What are you looking for? Any kids? How tall are you? And so on… Give us something to work with, other than just your face… even if it is a beautiful face!
  • Don’t put your Instagram handle in your bio and then have your Instagram profile set as “private”! We want to have a good nosey without you knowing about it! So, don’t force us to add you!
  • When was the last time a pervy message worked for you? If you wouldn’t go up to someone in public and say something to their face, don’t be a “keyboard warrior” and say that same thing online! It’s creepy!
  • Stop sending dick pictures when we’ve not asked for them! No; it doesn’t turn us on! Yes; we just blocked your number! So, piss off!
  • If we’re giving you our number, it’s just so that we can continue the intellectual (normal) conversation – that we’ve been having during the past few days/weeks – on an easier platform, and because we’re starting to trust you. Don’t make us immediately regret this decision by becoming a complete sex pest, just because you seem to think that you have easier access to us. We can just as easily block your number, as we can your profile!
  • If a girl has a picture with her (girl)friend on her profile, DO NOT ask if you can have her mate’s number… that’s such a dick move! She’s spent hours choosing what pictures to put on her profile, and she’s made the decision that she likes that particular one! You’re just making her feel shitty about herself in 2 seconds, flat… so, don’t be a jerk! (Also – this point applies to pics of girls with guys, too)!

Vital tip that works both ways – don’t post only group photos on your profile! I’ve seen this so much on guys’ profiles. Who are you? The same people are in all of the pictures; so, I’ve no idea who you are, James! You’re asking for a “swipe left”, trust me!

I hope these tips are of use. I am quite happy to write more about this subject if people are interested. I could tell you about some of the dates I’ve been on, or am going on… Please let me know what you think!